Monday, September 7, 2009

How does this get in there?

Just send me a question to
I am sorry you can't do it anonymously, but names will not be published.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

How big is a nob of butter?

Originally I thought you’d made a typo, and had meant to write ‘knob’, which is how I would describe a knob of butter, but when I looked it up in the dictionary, knob is a rounded protruberance, and nob is a head. Same, same. The nob is roughly the size of the head of an average sized cock, depending on the size of your pan. The bigger the pan, the larger the cock.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Why don't landlords like pets?

Because pets don’t pay rent do they?

What do you do when you meet your doppleganger?

Copy them.

Copy them.

I have a collection of old birthday cards which I love, but which are taking up space – I cannot throw them away; do you have any suggestions for what

I could do with them?

You must have quite a few of them, for them to be taking up valuable space. I’m a bit jealous, just give them to me! Though really, scan them all, front and back, then you have them forever, or till the computer becomes outmoded. Back-up!

Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm wearing denim everyday for a year, but after 1 & a half weeks I'm already repeating outfits.What can you suggest I do to quickly and economically



Easy Rider times meant you could legitimately wear an outfit for more than a year, establish your look then just wear it till its dead, or you are. All of us like to play with Cindy Sherman re-styling every now and then, and I understand you are getting bored. The term beg, borrow or steal comes to mind. It is some three hundred plus days, so get some denim fabric and start sewing, alternately, start raiding your friend’s wardrobes. I suggest turning garments inside out for a very cool and unique look. Maybe we can install a denim drop box in a convenient location, for offerings.
Photo is of a work I did earlier this year with my collection of jeans!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Guru, What is the best direction to face when one is about to reach half a century? And I don't mean in a game of cricket.

Half a century is like half of anything, it is a fractured, divided segment, a piece of the whole. The only possible thing to do is some gluing. You need to fuse various remnants together, and make a whole. Whether this involves cooking, drawing, physical fixing, building, sewing or planning. Guru Goffman is all about voodoo, and your own configuration of the sacred.
The direction you face will always be forward, as this is inevitable for a human. Time waits for no-one.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

What is your suggestion for leftovers?

Apply formula of rightover, this will equalise the result immediately.