GURU GOFFMAN

Can art save the world?

2010-09-02T00:51:00.000-07:00

This was asked at an opening last week, and I launched into my diatribe over whether it was possible and came to the conclusion that it can't, but it can help save one person. Art touches everyone differently, we might agree on certain terms about the cultural product but beyond that there is so much going on.
I am loathe to try and articulate the who why when and wheres, but I know there have been times that I have found greatness in art. In music and my love, books. I wouldn't be what I am if I hadn't been exposed to much greatness and so much trash. I truly believe that if you have art in your life, you can be rescued from the direst straits.

Why bother?

2010-07-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

Well, you were born, and here you are, bothering me...I so don't mind, I am here to help. I think we need to find diversions in life, there are astounding choices available to us. And then try to bother enjoying doing something. Seeing something, being something, making something, making someone else happy, doing some good. Why bother? Bothering is what we are here for, us nefarious creatures. We try, we attempt, we fail, we learn, we make do, we try something else. We meet people, see things, are introduced to new concepts, engaged with different ways of thinking, reading and trying...
If I didn't have books I wouldn't be who I am today. I bother because thats what being a human is about, bumbling along and trying all sorts of new angles, and being exposed to what the world has to offer, and then try to give something back. It may not be much, a little good energy, a smattering of something, because life is certainly brief and to be immersed in this world for even a little bit is your burden, not to be taken too lightly. There is only one of you, so you ought to take care of yourself.
love Guru Goffman love

Handy tip

2010-06-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

For kitchen oriented people cooking pulses;
Did you know that a tiny sprinkle of sodium bicarbonate into the boiling water when boiling beans will expediate their cooking drastically. Watch out or they'll turn to absolute mush.

What does 'please' mean?

2010-06-17T00:22:00.000-07:00

Water in Lake George!

I think it means a smile.

What do I do about bullying at work?

2010-06-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

A spider using a snail's shell
Don't take it on board. It is the bully's problem, and you cannot let it rule your life or torture you. Once you have reported it to the necessary authorities, your job is to not let it overwhelm you. I feel sorry for the person who feels they need to do this to you, but more importantly you need to protect yourself from their harm and not let it make you falter. You will need to be very weary about being with them, and how you relate to them. Life is full of complications, and that is one reason why I am here.

What is your favourite colour?

2010-05-31T03:08:00.000-07:00

I used to think I had one, but as I have gotten older, I realise that every colour has it's place. I love them all. It comes down to colour placement and selection.
They are all good, I like 'em bright, I like 'em dark. I like to choose exactly what shades I feel like wearing, because it makes me feel good. Colour has such an exciting visual power, it amazes me how wonderful colours are.

How do you get candle wax off a candle holder?

2010-05-31T02:59:00.000-07:00

I find the best way is with super-hot water. Just run the hot tap over it, and use a blunt knife to peel off the melted wax. Works like a dream.

Do I dress up or down for the Super-Deluxe Bar at Artspace?

2010-05-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

If you dress up, you will stand out, and if you're feeling gregarious then thats great. If you're feeling self-conscious and just want to blend with the crowd, dress down. That's my advice.

How do I stop obsessing about something?

2010-05-28T06:12:00.000-07:00

I don't think you can, you can direct the thoughts to drift away like clouds, by visualising a peaceful blue sky. When they return you have to refuse to engage with them, and repeat the process, whilst doing other things that may help to get your mind off. The biggest thing to remember is you are doing the best you can, and eventually the thoughts are going to give way to a new issue. You just have to be strong and not lament it, but let it empower you, rather than drain and incapacitate.

How can I tell the difference between what my ego thinks I want and what I truly need?

2010-02-10T13:26:00.000-08:00

Want vs need. So much that we think we desire is superficial and a passing phase. What we need is a definite , categorical need. Much is spoken about knowing what we want...but sometimes when you get what you think you want it isn't actually what you need at all. I can only suggest taking time and consideration when manoeuvring in the world. I believe we know somewhere deep inside what it is we need, but it comes with maturity, and when you are not being swayed by other people's desires/acquisitions...
Ego is a big little word, so much is dictated by this maelstrom of a human facet...it wants it all! Sometimes you have to squash the fucker into a box and be realistic, but it can be such a driver as well, so let it out at appropriate occasions and let it dance, but don't let it dictate YOU!
I think life is just a series of trials and errors, a constantly learning, dare I say journey. It is NEVER too late to reform and reassess. Go with your heart, and if it isn't right, scrap it, forgive yourself and start again. You are always learning about yourself, just try not to be too fixed in your opinions.

When is the right time?

2010-02-07T17:20:00.000-08:00

The time is NOW. Otherwise just listen to the wind, it will tell you.

How does this get in there?

2009-09-07T07:05:00.000-07:00

Just send me a question to goffgirl_2000@yahoo.com
I am sorry you can't do it anonymously, but names will not be published.

How big is a nob of butter?

2009-05-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

Originally I thought you’d made a typo, and had meant to write ‘knob’, which is how I would describe a knob of butter, but when I looked it up in the dictionary, knob is a rounded protruberance, and nob is a head. Same, same. The nob is roughly the size of the head of an average sized cock, depending on the size of your pan. The bigger the pan, the larger the cock.

Why don't landlords like pets?

2009-05-15T17:58:00.000-07:00

Because pets don’t pay rent do they?

What do you do when you meet your doppleganger?

2009-05-15T17:54:00.000-07:00

Copy them.

I have a collection of old birthday cards which I love, but which are taking up space – I cannot throw them away; do you have any suggestions for what

2009-05-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

I could do with them?

You must have quite a few of them, for them to be taking up valuable space. I’m a bit jealous, just give them to me! Though really, scan them all, front and back, then you have them forever, or till the computer becomes outmoded. Back-up!

I'm wearing denim everyday for a year, but after 1 & a half weeks I'm already repeating outfits.What can you suggest I do to quickly and economically

2009-05-11T06:21:00.000-07:00

EXPAND MY WARDROBE?

href="http://yearofdenim.wordpress.com/">http://yearofdenim.wordpress.com/

Easy Rider times meant you could legitimately wear an outfit for more than a year, establish your look then just wear it till its dead, or you are. All of us like to play with Cindy Sherman re-styling every now and then, and I understand you are getting bored. The term beg, borrow or steal comes to mind. It is some three hundred plus days, so get some denim fabric and start sewing, alternately, start raiding your friend’s wardrobes. I suggest turning garments inside out for a very cool and unique look. Maybe we can install a denim drop box in a convenient location, for offerings.

Photo is of a work I did earlier this year with my collection of jeans!

Guru, What is the best direction to face when one is about to reach half a century? And I don't mean in a game of cricket.

2009-05-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

Half a century is like half of anything, it is a fractured, divided segment, a piece of the whole. The only possible thing to do is some gluing. You need to fuse various remnants together, and make a whole. Whether this involves cooking, drawing, physical fixing, building, sewing or planning. Guru Goffman is all about voodoo, and your own configuration of the sacred.
The direction you face will always be forward, as this is inevitable for a human. Time waits for no-one.

What is your suggestion for leftovers?

2009-05-06T06:44:00.000-07:00

Apply formula of rightover, this will equalise the result immediately.